pacific_opal

Posted by Lori2 on Sep 25, 2008 04:05 AM

Hey Opal. Wonderful new pic! What a perspective. I think I will behave better about my eating just knowing you are watching. OK here I am with another funny;
PALM SUNDAY :
IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY."
"WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!"

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 29, 2008 04:42 AM

Where oh where has Opal gone? Missing you. I am sure life is hectic with getting those precious little ones back to school and creating new routines. Hope your life is going great and you are doing great. Look forward to chatting again later when you get more time.

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 15, 2008 04:27 AM

Time for a funny;
Amish Humor

Sign behind an Amish carriage:

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 14, 2008 01:19 AM

Hey, hey, what do you say mighty Opal? How goes the war for you? Still crazy with the kiddos running amuck? OMG I remember the years when mine were so young. It was just exhausting! Hang in there and this too shall pass, (school is just around the corner.) So I'm thinking about you today, just wanted you to know. Don't give up.
Funny time;

Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili.. 'Hey, Jermon,' I called out excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. 'Look! I found some chili.' Struggling to be polite, he said, 'If you're that surprised, I'm not really sure I want it.'

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 09, 2008 10:58 PM

Hey hey hey Opal-girl. How is the war going with you? I have been blipping lately but have things back in line again I think now. It is so freaking hard to get the weight off and it just comes back on so fast. It just doesn't seem fair. Luckily I didn't stray too far afield. The thing that set me off? Not making a mini goal. :-( Crazy huh? Just another week or so and I would have had it! OK enough whining and back to bootcamp for me. Hope that you are having a thrilling day filled with joy. I will too. Here is another funny for you;
Larry LaPrise Died

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the
moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very
important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokie Pokey" died
peacefully at the age of 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into
the coffin.

They put his left leg in. That's when the trouble started...

Received from Mark Penn.

--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080806

Posted by Lori2 on Jul 31, 2008 01:08 AM

Kids Are Funny

One Sunday we sat in the front pew of our church. Our
three-year-old son was playing with a stuffed animal and
accidentally dropped it on the floor. Just as he was about
to pick it up, the priest walked over and stood in front of
us. Our son looked up with a look of awe on his face and
whispered, "God?"

It was all the priest could do to continue with his sermon,
especially with us laughing so hard.

---

When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches
died. It was winter so we couldn't bury the bird, so I
flushed it down the toilet. I didn't realize that he had
seen me do this until I heard him crying behind me. Trying
to make him feel better, I told him that his bird was with
God now.

He stopped crying, looked at me a bit bewildered, and asked,
"God is in the toilet?"

Received from Terri.

--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080729

Posted by Lori2 on Jul 28, 2008 04:35 PM

Had Boys, Have Boys,
Thinking About Boys
Good Clean Jokes

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control

Posted by Lori2 on Jul 28, 2008 02:59 PM

Hey. I don't know, just goofing with your name for fun. Didn't mean to offend, sooooo sorry if I did.

Posted by burd on Jul 28, 2008 02:50 PM

Man i meant woman ur making good progress i am tring to get back in to my routine

Posted by Lori2 on Jul 28, 2008 02:16 AM

Hope your Sunday was Stupendous and that your Monday will be miraculous. Have a wonderful week Opalessence.
Clean "Saving" Joke

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, Ticket, please."